


Tulpa Sam

by Deanpala



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Charecter death (mentioned), Fluff and Angst, Gen, Imaginary Friends, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Tulpa, Tulpa sam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-01
Updated: 2017-02-23
Packaged: 2018-09-21 09:26:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 5,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9541481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deanpala/pseuds/Deanpala
Summary: Sam Winchester is dead. He's been dead for awhile now and all that's left is a memory. how do the boys cope, learning that Sam's not real?





	1. Learning the truth

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so first things first, I've REALLY wanted someone to write one of these stories and I just can't find any. So please, I beg you to write your own story where Dean or (preferably) Sam are the others imaginary friend. Can be they were never real, or something happened to them, I don't care. Please put the words Tulpa or Imaginary in there so I can find it. Thanks.
> 
> Now some quotes that would fit this story incredibly well.
> 
> Inception: She locked away a secret, deep inside herself, something she once knew to be true... but chose to forget.
> 
> The Doctor: If something can be remembered, it can come back
> 
> Puddleglum: Suppose we have only dreamed, or made up, all those things-trees and grass and sun and moon and stars and Aslan himself. Suppose we have. Then all I can say is that, in that case, the made-up things seem a good deal more important than the real ones. Suppose this black pit of a kingdom of yours is the only world. Well, it strikes me as a pretty poor one. And that's a funny thing, when you come to think of it. We're just babies making up a game, if you're right. But four babies playing a game can make a play-world which licks your real world hollow.
> 
> Hub:"Doesn't matter if it is true or not, a man should believe in those things , because those are the things worth believing in... got that ? If you want to believe in something, then believe in it! Just because something isn't true, that's no reason you can't believe in it! "

Sam was dead.

He really didn't know how to deal with this information, but he was really and truly dead. Had been for years now.

All he wanted was a stupid razor after his broke, so naturally he went to Dean's room to borrow one of his.

And that's when he saw it sitting there. The journal.

Sam knew it was wrong to look into Deans stuff, but he never opened up to him, so maybe Sam thought maybe if he knew what was going on in his head, he could help.

The last date it had been written in was when Sam left Stanford with Dean. Weird.

But that was nowhere NEAR as weird as what the book said.

"I saw Sam today for the first time in four years. Dads still gone and I thought Sam could help me find him.

I screwed up. Sam, he's- well he's dead. He forgot his jacket in my car and I went back to give it to him and well…..

He and his girlfriend were on the ceiling. Just like mom all those years ago, and just like here, he burned.

I'm so stupid it's all my fault I should have checked I-"

Sam stopped reading there. This just didn't make any sense what so ever, I mean he'd remember dying right?

Right?

So the next step was research, and according to Google, he was buried in some crap cemetery that was by the college.

Well, what was he then? He wasn't a demon or ghost because he could cross all the salt lines, and he wasn't anything that was brought back through necromancy or anything so what was left?

After about a solid hour of thinking, Sam remembered the case were he and Dean met the ghost facers for the first time.

And he remembered the tulpa, the creature that existed simply because it was believed in hard enough.

With that theory in his head, he marched down stairs.

He and Dean had some talking to do.

*for those of you who don't know a Tulpa is basically an imagery friend that is believed in enough that it becomes real. IDK if it works, I don't believe in it but to each his own.


	2. Coming out

Okay, so maybe talking to Dean wasn't the best idea out there.

Because come on, I mean if Sam is a Tulpa, what happens to him when Dean knows that he's not real?

What if Sam stops existing? I mean, maybe it wouldn't be all that bad cause he's not human anyway, but Sam refused to have Dean learn that his brother was dead and then proceed to WATCH HIM DIE all in the same day.

So Sam left the journal and research papers stating his death out in a strategic place where he knew the last living Winchester would find it and then promptly went to his room to sulk.

~Several minutes later~

The door to Sam's room flew open to reveal a very angered Winchester.

"Sam, what's this?" The elder asked in a ticked off manner.

"Your journal and some research…..."

"No I mean why does it say you're dead? You know something I don't?"

Sam sighed in disappointment. He was really hoping that he wouldn't have to deal with this.

"Because I am."

"Okay that is not NEAR enough explanation and you know it. You're obviously not a demon, ghost, or shifter since the bunkers evil proof so what the heck are you?"

Sam paused for a minute on how to best put this.

"Well? Start talking sunshine."

"Uhhhhh… the best I can figure, I'm you?"

"WHAT?!"

Crap. That could've been put better.

"I uh… I think I'm a Tulpa. Yours if I'm right."

"Only one way to find out."

Sam sighed. Of course Dean would want to test it like this.

Dean set up the ritual and as he burnt the mix of Rosemary, Sage, Rue, Garlic, and Marigolds, Sam's form started to flicker.

Immediately, Dean put out the herbs and rushed to Sam's side.

"Dude, you okay?" he asked with the concern only a brother or parent could have.

Sam was losing it. Despite being the one coming up with the theory, he never wanted to believe it.

The fact that he was literally just a figment of Dean's mind hurt Sam in more ways than one. He remembered the pain of losing Dean several times, and it was unbearable. Maybe Dean was just projecting on him who knew? But the point was that Sam could not handle this at all, and he promptly fell onto his side shaking.

"Sam? Hey it's alright, calm down okay?"

"CALM DOWN? APPARENTLY IM YOU SO WHY DON'T YOU JUST MAKE ME 'CALM DOWN'?" Sam shouted in shock, anger, and fear.

"Hey you cut it out right now okay? Don't you dare think that I would EVER take away your free will, not after we fought so hard for it. This doesn't change anything between us."

"Of course it does Dean, I'm not real and were the same person, there is no way that things WON'T change."

Dean sighed.

"Hey, well work this out alright man?"

"No, we won't. I'm surprised I'm still even here with you knowing I'm not real. I mean, what happens if you die? I'm all in your head, so once you're gone what do I do? Will I die? If I don't, do I even age? What the, I just wander the earth alone?"

"Well we could always just ship you off to Foster's home for imaginary friends…"

"Stop it, I'm serious man. What do we do?"

"We'll- well, ILL cross that bring when we get to it. Right now we just need to adjust abit, then we can work out the fine details."

Sam grumbles. "Fiiiiiine."

"You wanna get a beer? We could both use it."

For the first time since finding out that he was dead, Sam smiled.

"Sounds good."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made up the ritual don't quote me on it.


	3. Side effects

Dean offered to let Sam drive, but they decided that it was probably for the best that Dean drove since for some odd reason that they just could not fathom, Sam was having a hard time staying tangible.

"You wanna come in?" Dean asked concerned about his little bro and wanting to keep an eye on him.

"Nah I'm good, just don't get yourself killed man." Sam replied, needing some alone time to think about this.

"Don't worry about it jerk." Not like Dean needed to be told twice. Him dying might mean the same happening to Sam.

Sam sat in the car for awhile, but got fed up quite quickly and decided to get out since fresh air always helped clear his mind.

But the thing was, he couldn't touch the door. And it wasn't just that he was intangible, it was like there was a force field on it or something. So he just laid down waiting for Dean to get back.

When Dean did come back, he promptly flipped out.

"SAM! Where are you man, if your messing me then I'll kill you I swear." He said extremely worried that his knowing about Sam made him disappear for good.

"Dude, what are you talking about? I'm right here." Sam said in annoyance.

Dean let out a sigh of relief. He still couldn't see Sam, but he at least knew that he still existed.

"Where? I'm sorry man, but I don't see you."

"Dude, I'm literally RIGHT HERE! Right in front of you, still in the front seat."

Sam seemed to glitch back into existence right in front of Dean, and it was just like he was never gone.

"I don't know what's going on, but something's up with you. You never did this before." The concern just bled through his voice as he said it.

Sam just shrugged. He didn't get it either.

"I couldn't even get my hand near the door a minute ago."

Dean was struck with a sudden idea.

"Hey Sam, what do you call a fish without an eye?"

"fffffffffffsssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh."

"Now do you remember where you learned that?"

Sam's face scrunched up in confusion while Dean broke out in a smile.

"I-I've never heard it before…." Sam said in shock.

"Nope but I have. Can I try something else real quick?"

"Uhhhh yeah sure I guess but-"

Sam's mouth shut suddenly as he did what was probably the most girly pose ever.

When his jaw became loose again the first thing he did was shout.

"THE HECK WAS THAT DEAN!?"

"I just wanted to check. I was wondering"

"Check WHAT?!"

"That. And now I know."

"Well, what did you figure out?"

"I think I figured out why you're all weird."

"Well you care to share?"

"Okay you said you couldn't touch the door right?"

"Yeah…."

"It salted. If you're a figment of my imagination, and I started thinking of you as dead, then wouldn't that make you dead?"

"Wait, you're saying this is all happening because you started thinking of me differently?"

"That's what I'm saying, but can we talk about this later? I just want to get home so we can drink this crap. Lord knows I need it."

"HEY! What about me, I just learned I'm DEAD!"

"Yeah well apparently we're the same person, and I just learned I might as well be a schizophrenic."

"Whatever jerk."

"Lava girl"

"HEY!"

Dean smirked the whole way back.


	4. A night of feels

Only an hour had passed since returning o the bunker, and Sam was already drunk. Under other circumstances, this would be funny, but Dean's heart was absolutely breaking for the showdown of his bro.

"If you could- if you could have the real thing, would you?" Sam asked.

"Dude, what are you talking about?"

"Sam. Don't you-" Sam made a wild hand gesture here. "You know, miss your brother? Would you want him back?"

The worst part is, Dean didn't know what to respond. On one hand, Sammy was DEAD, and of course he has to save him they're brothers. But on the other hand, he and Sam hadn't talked in over ten years besides the night he died, more if you count the forty years in hell, and what would happen to HIS Sam if the original came back? They had been through WAY to much crap together for Dean to just replace him.

"I- well yeah, I mean, you know me I'd do anything for you so-"

"You mean Sam right?"

"You ARE Sam man. And if I do find a way to bring him back, I won't just stop believing in you, got it? You're sticking around one way or another."

"So what? Two Sams would be confusing, so do I just leave? I don't know what you want me to do…."Sam sounded so utterly forlorn.

"Hey, look for now I just want you to do what you've always done and be my little brother okay? That part won't ever change, weather there's two of you or not."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

Sam nodded at that. He still looked sad, but it was a little better.

"So how do you plan to get him back?"

"Honestly? I have no idea, my hopes aren't really that high, I mean you- he wouldn't even have a body soooo…."

"I can stick around for awhile?"

Dean sighed at the hopeful but sad look on Sam's face.

"Yeah kiddo, you can stick around, even if he comes back. He'll probably want to go back to school anyway."

"Nooooooo…"

"No? No what?"

"Were wanted criminals and 'sides, I love you too much…."

Dean's breath caught in his throat. He didn't remember the last time Sam had said he'd loved him.

"I-I uh- I love you to Sammy." Dang, his voice cracked a little. He was a man gosh dang it!

"Let's get you to bed kiddo."

"'M not a kid.."

"Dude, you were born less than twenty years ago."

"'S not the point."

"If you say so Sammy." Dean carried Sam into his room and put him to bed. It was hard because the kid was heavier now, but he managed.

Just as he was about to leave, a hand caught his wrist.

"Don't leave me? Please?" Sam sounded terrified that Dean would abandon him.

"Okay I'll stay here. I'm not going anywhere."

And he didn't. By the end of the night, both boys had fallen asleep together in the same bed like they had when they were kids. Of course they'd never talk about this again, but they both needed reassurance that the other was real. Well not real, but was at least still there.

They both slept soundly that night.


	5. Birthday death day

Sam woke up the next morning with Dean standing over him

"Dean….. what are you doing…?"

"Happy birthday Sammy!"

"Dean, it's not my birthday…."

Dean face fell into a frown.

"Well, it's the anniversary of your death…."

"So you threw a party?" Sam sounded slightly hurt at the thought.

"What?! No man, that's not what I meant! It's just that old you died today so I uh-, I probably uh- well, ya know….. Imagined you….."

"Oh…" That explained it. Well gosh, now he felt like a total jerk.

"So huh…. What do you have planned?"

"Oh yeah! Okay man, come on you're gonna love this!" Dean practically dragged Sam out of the room.

"Dean….."

""Shut up and trust me man, you won't regret it."

Sam was brought into the library and was stunned by the sight he saw.

All over the place there were streamers and balloons, both cake AND pie, and the complete works of Neil Gaiman.

"Dean… this is…." Sam can't find the words to express his joy at the sight.

"Happy birthday little brother."

"Dean…. You didn't have to; I mean I don't even exist…"

"Shut up, yeah you do."

Sam had a sudden moment of confusion.

"Shouldn't I be EXTREMLY hung over?"

"Nope, didn't want you to, so you're not."

The overwhelming love Sam felt at that moment compelled him to act and Dean was immediately glomped.

"Ack- Sam! Dude, what's your problem?"

"Just- thank you Dean…" At this Dean hugged Sam back for a moment.

"Heh, no problem Sammy, now could you get off me? Were not all touchy feely…"

"You are and you know it."

"Am not"

"Are to"

"No way dude"

"Then how do you explain ME being all touchy feely if Im you?"

"…."

"Hah, I got you there!"

"Shut up."

Sam just laughed at the statement while Dean pouted.

"Hey Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"I huh, I think I found a way to bring you back, but there are a couple choices, and since its you….. I thought its be best for you to decide you know?"

"What is it?"


	6. Choices

"Okay, there are three choices. One, we leave things the way they are. Two, Sam comes back as a ghost, since he was turned to ash. The last option is well…. Awkward…."

"Dean, I don't exist, it can't get any worse than that."

"Fine. The last choice is that he….. uh that he…. That you two share a body space?"

"Seriously? Like a possession type of deal?"

"Well he doesn't have a body. You do and it's still sort of his to…"

Sam sighed. No matter what his answer there would be problems.

"Normally this thing just brings back the dead but since you're in there too-"

"Shut up. I get it I just- I need time to thing man."

Gosh this was hard. On one hand, it wasn't right to ask Dean to just let his little bro be dead. But he couldn't make him into a ghost either, he might be vengeful. He was that was the whole reason he went with Dean.

Man he didn't want to do this…..

"Alright, I made up my mind. I guess I can share, but can we wait till tomorrow?" He did not want to fade way on the day he was made.

Dean nodded. He could understand that it took time to prepare for this sort of thing. He honestly needed time himself to get ready to talk to Sam again.

"Well we gonna get this party started or what birthday boy?"

For the rest of the day they just hung out, watching stupid movies together, drinking, and just talking. They both knew it was possible that after that night they may never see each other again.

No, Dean thought. He wasn't going to let that happen. No matter what, he wouldn't forget the man he had fought with.


	7. Bring Sam back

"Okay Sammy, you ready?" Dean asked, having the ritual set up the next morning.

"I-no not really but I don't think this is something you can just be ready for so let's just get it over with." Sam was terrified, but he wasn't going to let Dean know that.

Dean looked hesitant for a second before speaking up. "Sam? You know that I've got your back no matter what right? You don't have to do this."

"Yes, I do. A man's dead, and not just anyone, no this is your LITTLE BROTHER, so of course I have to do everything I can to save him."

"Okay if you're sure… don't forget that you're my brother to though alright?"

Sam rolled his eyes and sighed in annoyance. While the reassurance was comforting, he just wanted to get this over with. "Yes mother, now are we going to do this or what?"

With those annoyed words from Sam Dean started the ritual to get back a man he hadn't seen in ten years.

After several moments, Sam doubled over in pain with a scream and it took all of Dean's willpower to keep performing the ritual and by the time he was done, Sammy was passed out.

"Sam? You okay? Sam, wake up."

At this Sam shot up with a gasp and said the first words, and the only ones that Dean would need to figure out which Sam this was.

"JESS!"


	8. Meeting Sam again

"Whoa hey, calm down Sammy, you're safe now."

"Dean? What happened? Where are we? You seem older….." Sam was understandably in a state of panic and had absolutely no idea what was going on.

"Tell me what you remember first, then I know what I need to fill in." Dean was caught between hoping for Sam to remembered or hoping for him to not. On one hand, he already went through this crap once and Dean would do whatever it took to keep Sam from having to face that again. But sooner or later Sam would make him spill what happened and he certainly did not want to be the one to do that.

"W-we went on a hunt together and you dropped me off at my place and….. I saw Jess on the ceiling. It was just like what you said happened to mom. Then I remember pain, lots of pain and heat-"

"Okay well uhhhh… here's the cliff notes version. Jess is dead, we found dad but now hes dead to, we finally killed the yellow eyed demon, we befriended an angel, saved the world, got a place to live now, and we just found out that you were dead a couple of days ago."

"Wait- what? 'We'? And what do you mean I'm dead?"

"Well I kindda sorta missed you so much that you became a Tulpa and that you helped me bring you back." Dean said under his breath.

"Seriously? You went that delusional? And now dads dead, the world almost ended, and we met an angel?"

Dean let out a loud sigh. "Yes Sam. Look do we have to talk about it now? You JUST got back."

"Dude, I was only gone for what, a month?"

"Welllllll if you don't count that last hunt it's been about ten years since we've seen each other…."

"AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW I WAS DEAD?!"

"Hey, it's not my fault Mr. our town is a good actor. He didn't even know he didn't exist till recently."

"What happened to ummm 'other' me anyway?"

"He should be in there with you"

Now Sam was freaking out.

"YOU LET A SUPERNATURAL CREATURE INTO MY BODY?"

"Okay, technically that's his body, and he agreed to have you come back. Besides, you let one in first…." Dean awkwardly cleared his throat at the uncomfortable thoughts of ruby he had just brought back upon himself.

"Any who you want to do something? A movie or whatever?"

"Ten years and all you have is a movie?" Sam said teasingly.

"You shut you're pie hole. Speaking of which I saved you some pie….."


	9. Catching up

Through the day Dean and Sam caught up a bit and just got used to being brothers again. They watched that knew raiders movie, (ha, revenge since Sam watched it without Dean when he went to hell, and it turns out he watched it without Sam when he went to heaven.) had a water fight, and just plain old had a good time. There were a few bumps along the way (Sam flipped out when Dean pointed the gun at him when Sam woke him up.) and there were quite a few chick flick moment in-between ("I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Dean, I couldn't save you from hell" "It's okay Sammy, it wasn't you're fault.") mentally crashing and having random memories popping up in your head will do that to you. Around ten Dean finally had to ask a question he'd been dying to ask.

"So huh- hows…. You know, other Sam holding up?" He'd been trying to avoid the question, not wanting Sam to think he wasn't happy he was here. But the other Sam needed to know that Dean hadn't forgotten him.

"Oh he's uhhh… I don't know I mean, I can hear him in there but he seem to be out cold."

"Oh….." Dean started laughing hysterically after a minute.

"Dude, what's up with you?"

"I just realized how messed up this is. A figment of my imagination is in your head while you're in his body. Schizophrenic much?"

Sam couldn't help laughing at this point either. Their lives were pretty ridiculous.

"Gosh our lives couldn't be crazier."

Dean started laughing even harder at that.

"What? It can't."

"Oh Sammy if only you knew."

"Okay, dude tell me what could be worse than this?"

"Dude, you got turned into the car once."

"Wait what?"

"Yeah no kidding. Oh, and one time we had to pose as 'teddy bear doctors' so we could see this gigantic, suicidal teddy bear."

"Okay, there is absolutely no way that ever happened."

"Oh yeah, we had to tell the girl he had 'lollipop disease'"

"Anything else bizarre happen?"

"Oh yeah, you wouldn't believe it."

Until about five in the morning they sat up telling stories, Sam about college days the other him couldn't tell since Dean wasn't there, and Dean about the most crazy hilarious adventures they'd been on together.


	10. food fight

The next morning, Dean awoke to the smell of bacon. Seeing as he and Bobby were the only ones he knew could cook, it was slightly unsetting. He went down stairs with a gun in hand, just in case.

What sight he saw was definitely not what he expected. Sam was at the stove, which almost always ended in disaster. And they both stayed up till the crack of dawn, so that wouldn't help the food any.

"Sammy?"

He turned around with a smile on his face. "Morning Dean!"

"Hey? You seem awful cheery this morning."

"Just glad I'm not dead or anything."

"So you're uh- you're old Sam?"

Sam gave Dean a 'really?' look and said with no little snark "old Sam?"

"Shat up you know what I mean. So you gonna tell me which Sam you are, or just leave me hanging?"

"While that does sound tempting, its fake Sam."

"Thank you, now was that so hard? What's with the bacon? Not that I'm complaining or anything, but you cant cook worth a crap."

"Hey I cook perfectly fine!" Sam said with mock offence.

"Very funny now you gonna tell me or what genius?"

Sam sighed with fake annoyance. "Fine, I youtubed it okay? Happy now?"

"Very much so." Dean replied as he snatched some bacon. "So if you don't want to be called old Sam, what should we call you? Call you Sammy and the other one Sam?"

"Hey, if anyone's called Sammy it should be him, he the younger one."

Dean rolled his eyes. "Okay so Sammy's out. You got anything?"

"No not really. By the way, what's other Sam like? How's he coping with all of this?"

"Well he seems like you. Bit hard to tell because he keeps having break downs from random memory brust, but besides that hes coping I guess."

"That's- that's good to know….. So you ready for some breakfast or what?"

"If you can call the crap you make breakfast Samantha. You think I could've at least imagined you a better cook,. yeesh."

Needless to say, with a remark like that none of the food was actually eaten, it was instead used for an intense food fight.

After said food fight, both boys came out covered in bacon, hash browns, and egg. All in all, a good morning.


	11. Self loathing conversations

Dean said he was going to fix up the Impala a bit, but Sam knew he was just trying to give him some space which was fine by him. Sam hadn't had hardly any alone time since learning about his death.

At that moment Sam felt what was like a brief jolt of electricity in his brain. Oh, real Sam was awake. Sam tried to mentally slip back into the back of his brain so the real one could have control.

After all, it wasn't like he was real. And even if he was, he didn't deserve it.

He heard real Sam in his head wondering what that meant.

"What do you mean you don't deserve it? It's your body."

I just, I don't. I messed up to much. Its a wonder that Dean even lets me stick around

"Why wouldn't he though? I mean, come on this is DEAN we're talking about here."

I let him down so much.

"What could you have possibly done to make Dean ever abandon us?"

He went to hell for me and I couldn't save him…

"Yeah, but he WENT for you. He chose to its not your fault."

And when he came back I ditched him for a demon and lied to him.

"… I'm sure you had a good reason."

I thought so. But I didn't have a good reason for calling him weak and broken

"…."

And instead of ditching Ruby and not drinking her blood any more like he told he to I-

"Wait, you drank demon blood? Why?"

I thought I could save everyone. I thought I could stop the apocalypse. I-I kick started it instead. And then when I came back from hell I almost killed Dean and Bobby. I dragged Dean away from his family; he finally had the apple pie life, a wife and a son, a job….

Sam couldn't hold it back anymore. He had let Dean down in every way, took everything from him. And Dean still stayed. He helped him with the flash backs of hell, instead of calling him weak like Sam had called Dean.

After a minute of pure shock form hearing all these confessions, real Sam had become filled with self loathing. Dean had created this Sam, and Dean had always seen the best in him so what did that say about him?

The memories flooded their shared mind, and now they were both sobbing, unable to even tell themselves apart with their despair.


	12. Thank you

Dean came in about an hour later to grab a beer when he heard sobbing that he could recognize anywhere. Sam was crying and that had to be fixed.

He followed the noise to a room near the library and saw Sam hunched over and went to help however he could.

As Dean knelt down in front of Sam so he could be eyelevel, only to feel a pair of arms grab him and yank him forward and down.

Sam had Dean practically on his lap with his arms wrapped around the elder in a crushing hug, his hands wrapped in Dean's shirt as he cried.

Dean blinked in surprise but quickly recovered, big brother instincts kicking in. He wrapped his arms around Sam and ran a hand through his hair like he did when Sam was still a kid and muttered reassurances to him until the shuttering sobs died down.

"You okay there Sammy?"

Sam nodded mutely into Dean's chest.

"So what was that about?"

Sam didn't answer, just kept clutching Dean for awhile before letting out a sniffle as he sat up and let go of Dean.

"I'm good, it was nothing."

"Yeah, sure you're g-"

He got interrupted as he was pulled toward Sam again and given an even more bone crushing hug than before.

"Thank you."

Dean awkwardly patted Sams shoulder.

"What for Sam?"

"For not leaving us."

He sat stunned for a second.

"Of course. Can't take care of ya if I'm not around can I?"

Sam let out a chocked laugh and let Dean go for good.

"No guess not. And you do one heck of a job watchin out for me. Love you Dean"

"I love you to Sam, can I get up now?"


	13. Calming down

The Sams had finally started to calm down, but it was obvious to Dean they felt like crap. He could tell because he was Sams big bro, and because literally no one feels good after crying. Dean dragged Sam over to the couch and sat him down for a minute before he came back with a freshly heated blanket, water, Sams health freak food, and a comedy movie to cheer him up a bit.

With Sam snuggled up in a blanket burrito and not crying anymore, Dean was content to just sit back and watch the show. He'd make some comments here and there but for the most part they sat in companionable silence.

At the end of the movie Dean looked over at Sam who had fallen asleep. Turns out having two people in one body wears you out.

Dean settled down and shifted Sam so he was laying on Dean.

Sure there was still work to be done on the Impala, but it could wait. He wasn't leaving Sam any time soon.


	14. The Beach

After Sam (Dean couldn't be sure which one) finally woke up, Dean pulled him to his feet and was already pushing him toward the door.

"Huh…. Dean? What are you doing?"

"Sammy, we're going out for a bit."

"b-but"

"No buts Sam. I get that this is difficult to come to terms with, but staying cooped up aint helping any. Just relax and let me take care of you m'k?"

"But Dean-"

"Sam, what did I just say?"

"But-"

"No buts Sam! I will drag you to the car if I have to!"

"I'd like to see you try."

Ten minutes later Sam was in the front seat of the impala pouting.

"I can't believe you actually carried me to the car!"

"Well you weren't coming."

Sam didn't answer and just pouted the rest of the ride.

When they got to their destination, Dean was expecting it to cheer Sam up.

Apparently he was mistaken.

"Come on Sam, what wrong? I'm sorry okay, just tell me what I did."

"Nothing, it's just- me and Jess spent a lot of time at the beach is all."

Ahhh. That explained it. At least he k new which Sam he was dealing with now.

"Look, I'm sorry man, but maybe we can make some new memories okay? How's that sound?"

"Yeah I guess."

Dean smiled and pulled out the duffle he had prepared then threw it at Sam.

"Get dressed geek boy, were gonna enjoy this gosh dang it."

When both Winchesters were dressed they went down near the water. Luckily for them there weren't that many people around this spot on the beach.

Dean had come prepared with all types of snacks he knew that Sam liked, and after goofing off in the water a bit and pushing each other around, Sam told Dean all he knew about living life by the ocean. Sam at one point fell asleep which was not the best decision and when he woke up he was neck deep in sand. He listened to horrible off key songs by the beach boys as he tried to dig himself out of the Sand his brother had buried him in.


	15. THE END

For the next week straight the Winchester brothers decided to just tour the country and goof off. The first place they went two was the Grand Canyon, Sam had wanted to go to a 21 pilots concert, but for once, Dean had won at rock paper scissors.

They went to a green day concert after that, which both Dean and Sam could enjoy. It did not go well for either brother as it was just to much stimuli for two people sharing one brain, and Sam ended up over stimulated. The next time they went to anything like that again wasn't for quite awhile.

At the end of the week they found themselves at the Garden of the gods, and simply enjoyed each others presence in a way they hadn't in a long time.

Many years later

Dean was an old man now. His memory wasn't all that great, and he didn't remember the important things from the past like that there were to Sams or that Dad was dead. Sometimes, Sam would even hear him start talking about mom.

Sam came to visit Dean as often as he could, sometimes unwillingly, but when he found himself in Deans room in the middle of the night, he wouldn't leave until the nurses were soon to come in.

Sam was still only Twenty five, most the time anyways. On particularly bad days, he would wake up as an eleven year old or as only four. There was one case where he was only a couple month old that was quite uncomfortable for him, but he'd had the good fortune of being with Dean when that had happened. He didn't cry despite his overwhelming urge to, because he had to do whatever it took to make Dean happy as he cradled and cooed at him.

Dean was old and losing his memory and Sam was afraid that with Deans memory and no one else to remember him, Dean would lose him to.

He was in the room when Dean went in the middle of a conversation about how Sam needed to take better care of himself. Sam would have been able to tell that Dean went even if he hadn't been there; it physically HURT him the moment Dean passed.

Seconds afterward, a warm feeling filled him, and then he too moved on.

Sam and Dean were greeted into heaven with open arms.


End file.
